Biblical forgiveness for cheating
When I found out my husband had not only cheated on me, but was cheating on me with multiple women all at the same time, I was shocked. I’d known the man for many years. He was the love of my life and we had a daughter together, with a son on the way. The bible teaches us to forgive those who hurt us and my husband had hurt me, badly. I didn’t know who the man had been maneuvering around behind my back to set up dates with all these women was. I couldn’t understand why such a man would want to marry me, to have children with me, or how he could consider himself a Christian if that what he wanted to do.
How to forgive him for cheating
When I confronted him about his infidelity he began crying. He explained to me that at a very young age he had powerful sexual urges. That he thought about sex constantly and even the slightest thing could trigger it. He told me that he felt a sense of persistent agitation that went away temporarily when he masturbated or had sex.
I was mortified, ashamed, and angry. I couldn’t understand why he would to do this to me and our family. It was cruel, senseless, and stupid. How many women had he slept with? How many lies had he told me?
How was I supposed to forgive him for what he did and keep our marriage together? What was I supposed to do?
For a few days I made him sleep at a hotel and I spoke with our pastor about what I discovered and all the awful things that he was doing behind my back. To my surprise, our pastor told me that it wasn’t unusual for men or women to have this affliction. He called it sexual addiction and told me that there were meetings, much like alcoholics anonymous that helped people like my husband manage their addiction.
The pastor said it was important for me to remember that my husband loved me and that we had a beautiful family together. But sexual addiction is very real and those who suffer from it feel a compulsive need to have dangerous sex regardless of the circumstances it might bring.
This was all news to me, but I talked to my husband about what the pastor said. He said he had heard about sexual addiction and that thought he could manage it all himself. He reiterated that he loved me and he loved our family very much. He made sure that I knew how ashamed he felt about what he had done.
He promised that he would do whatever it took to manage his addiction, and that included going to meetings at the church. He said he would get help from psychotherapists and do whatever it took to control the urges that he had.
Cheating forgiveness and why it’s important
As a Christian woman, I was taught both to forgive and that was divorce was wrong. I confess at the time I was not emotionally prepared to forgive him. I had to rethink our entire relationship. But as time passed I started remembering why I fell in love with him in the first place and chose to start a family with him. As concerned the meetings and psychotherapy, he was true to his word. He took medication for the anxiety he felt, and that seemed to manage the urges too. Talking with other people in the program also helped, and working out his issues has also helped. Being able to discuss this with him was a big part of reestablishing the bond we once had. The most important thing in forgiving him was giving him the chance to prove that he could beat his addiction. He works very hard at that every day.