How to forgive them for cheating and move forward
Moving on after cheating means not carrying the betrayal and mistrust into your next relationship, nor harboring ill feelings toward future potential significant others. It means not having to look over your next partner’s shoulder and scrutinizing their every interaction with opposite (or same) sex. It means letting go of the intense negative emotions that you may feel toward your ex.
This article is about how you can do just that.
Forgiving them for cheating
First of all, no matter how badly they treated you in the relationship, forgiveness isn’t about letting them off the hook, or making them feel better about anything. It’s about allowing you move forward with an open heart so that you can allow the relationship and love that you truly deserve into your life. You need to be willing to let yourself off the hook and allow yourself to trust again. Just because one person played you like that and made you feel like the fool doesn’t mean everyone will treat your feelings with such cavalier indifference.
Forgiving him for cheating means forgiving yourself too for believing his lies and allowing him the power to hurt you. But in some ways that is a characteristic of true love. It does allow those that we love the power to hurt us, which is why forgiving cheating is so difficult. We made ourselves vulnerable to a person who betrayed us, and falling in love again means making ourselves vulnerable again.
Many times after someone is hurt very badly by a lying lover, they turn against the idea of sharing love again. Not only that, but they’ve learned to mistrust their instincts because their ex would call them crazy or paranoid for their suspicions that they were being cheated on. It’s a cruel thing to do and the effects of this kind of treatment last long after the relationship has ended.
Moving on after cheating
First you must restore your sense of pride and dignity. It may feel like you’ll never be in another relationship again or you’ll never find a person who you can trust in the same way. The truth is you can, and if you want to, you will. But you need to be patient with yourself and the healing process. And you must forgive yourself for being made a fool of and wasting so many years of your life.
But hanging onto hateful feelings is never a good answer. You are not hurting the person who hurt you, you are allowing the person who hurt you to continue to hurt you. Hate is like a poison for your soul. Your ability to trust again must be nurtured, but first you must learn to trust yourself again.
It helps to have time off from relationships in general when dealing with these issues. You’re going to want to become comfortable within yourself before inviting another person back into your life. This is true of marriages and boyfriend-girlfriend type relationships as well. While many people victimized by bad relationships to the point of giving up on them entirely, many others survive them to find the love and companionship they rightfully deserve.
Meanwhile those who leave a trail of broken hearts in their wake end up alone to reconsider their choices.
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